Bad Breath

Nothing is worse than the disappointment you get when you meet a really hot chick, but then get slapped in the face with bad breath. I mean like slapped in the face by a dead fish bad. It completely ruins it. Because a couple of feet away all you're thinking about is getting close to those luscious lips, but as soon as you get within range you're back peddling like a clown on a unicycle trying to find his balance... was that too much juxtaposition of images? ... oh well.

The important thing to realize here is that it doesn't have to be this way. That's right! You too can remedy your death breath! Of course there are the obvious things of smoking and avoiding foods with a lot of garlic, and I've found that coffee can leave a particularly rank aroma in its aftermath... but it all comes down to proper brushing technique. So here's what I've developed after some research and personal trial and error... and I think it's worked out pretty well.

First, begin with a good pre-rinse mouth wash. I've been using a whitening mouthwash that utilizes peroxide, so I have to brush afterwards to get all the foam out of my mouth. Although, I think I would keep the habit of rinsing with mouth wash first even if it weren't a whitening wash. It helps to loosen up all the particles of food and kill bacteria in your mouth.

Let's face it... the reason why your breath smells like death is because you've got dead and rotting things in your mouth. The bacteria feeds on little bits of food that are rotting away, and then the bacteria eventually die and rot in your mouth too. That's just gross, so we want to get rid of that stuff as much as we can.

So, while you're rinsing (for at least 30 seconds) use that time to rinse your brush out and put your toothpaste on it. I'm not gonna specify which kind of bristle or paste you use. I don't think it really matters. Just use your average long neck brush and a paste or gel that you like.

Spit out the rinse and get to work brushing! Make sure that you brush every tooth. Don't neglect those guys and gals in the back of your mouth. Brush in little circular motions all around. Brush the front of your teeth, the tops of your teeth, and the backs of your teeth. Brush 'em all... You should spend about 2 minutes on your teeth so that you thoroughly clean them. Next comes a big... no huge... no... monumental key to avoiding bad breath!

Brush your tongue!!!! Yeah, that's right. A lot of stuff lives on your tongue... and dies there, and stinks up the whole place. It's not like the funky smell coming from under your house that you can't find. You know where this is, so take care of it. Clean it off from the back to the front. Get all that crud cleaned off. Just because you don't always see it doesn't mean it's not there. I've found that if I'm getting sick I'll get this gross film on my tongue (that smells bad), and I also discovered that if I'm diligent in scrubbing that stuff off I feel better faster.

Once you've finished with your tongue, brush the roof of your mouth. I know this might sound a little odd, but think about it. When you close your mouth where do you rest your slim covered tongue? That's right... against the roof of your mouth. So it has just as much stuff growing, if not more, as your tongue.

Spit.

Here, I rinse out my brush and then do another quick pass of everything with a freshly rinsed brush. I like to make sure that I get every thing cleaned out.

Spit again.

Now this is another very important step that is sometimes overlooked. RINSE with clean water. I usually rinse at least twice and gargle it on the second time. But you should look at the water as it's leaving your mouth. The first time you rinse toothpaste and food particles will be clearly visible coming out with the water. You might even see some come out with the second rinse. That means you should rinse again. Remember, you want all the crud to come out. So you should rinse until the water that comes out of your mouth looks just like the water that went in; clear. If it's not clear, then it's not clean.

And that's all there is to it. I know it may seem like a big process, but it should only take 2.5 mins all together; maximum. And it can make a mighty big difference.

I would like to make one additional note though. If you have any sort of permanent dental work in your mouth, like braces or a retainer, then you have an additional hurdle to leap. That metal bar is the perfect brothel for germs and bacteria to get together and make smelly little babies. So no matter how well you brush, if you don't get something behind that dental work to scrub those germ babies out, you will still have bad breath. So take some floss or some other kind of tool, and get under that stuff to clean it out. Very important. The people in your intimate space will thank you... and you may just find a few more people entering your intimate space.