100th Post!

This is the 100th post to this blog.

... I had no idea. I was just logging in to make a post and it took my to the profile showing that there were currently 99, which makes this number 100.

So what is my 100th post about? If you were to make a guess about what I would write on, what would be? Thinking back across the span you'd probably guess girls. And it would be a pretty good guess... although you'd have to specify that it's a girl with a boyfriend or a girl who I'm interested in or a girl who has irritated me. That'd be a pretty good guess, but it would be wrong. (I do tend to write a lot about the joys of single-dom)

This post however is about McDonald's. Yup, Mac D's, Micky D's, or however else you can call it. I told you, I had no idea this was going to be the 100th post...

So I checked out the newly opened, rebuilt restaurant on Western. Wow... it's fancy on the inside. It looks right out of the corporate showroom. It's got 2 drive-thru lanes. I don't know why it needs two lanes, but it's got two lanes. Seems to me like they could have gone without one of the lanes and made some more parking, or pushed the building back a little so it doesn't create such an awful traffic pattern trying to get out of the place... but they've got two... for all those really crazy busy times at the McD's drivethru... (yes, there is a little sarcasm there)

But the inside of the place is really nice. All decked out with NC State imagery and huge wallpaper images of historic athletic events. Good Ol' P Riv is larger than life right next to Jimmy V and Kay Yow. I love P Riv, but is he really on the same level as Yow?

Either way, they made my big mac the way I wanted it, and it looked pretty busy. It's pretty nice.

Slightly related, I've been making the observation that every McD's I go into seems to always be playing Fox News. Never any other news source. Always Fox. It was no different in this new location (they've got it behind the cash registers so you can watch while you're in line), so I asked the manager if it was a corporate mandate that Fox News be the news channel shown. He seemed a little squirrely about it and gave an answer of, 'I'm not really able to say, but I think so...' We chatted about it for a minute until he asked another manager (who I think might have some ownership of the place) and his answer was it was the owner's decision. The channels on the tv's are set, and they cannot be changed by the management. The second guy told me that they once used CNN, but too many people complained. So now they use Fox News. I guess the types of people who are going to complain about what news channel is playing silently in the background for the 15 mins (max) they're sitting in a fast food place are the type who watch Fox News. I'd wager there are just as many people out there who would rather see another news source, but they're also the same people who be less likely to create conflict or complain over it.

So those of you who are in other parts of the country, let me know, what news is playing in your Mc's. It makes sense for Fox to play in the conservative south, but what about a little north of here, or out on the west coast. Is it MSNBC in California? CNN in Virginia? Share your McDonald's stories!

Something old, new, borrowed, and blue

No, no one's getting married, but the title of the post does fit certain events from the weekend. I can't really go into any detail about it, so you folks might not ever know what it means... but I'm hoping that at least I'll know what it means if I ever read this post again in the future.

Where to begin...

My weekend was pretty freakin awesome now that I look back on it. Yeah... it kicked ass. I did a lot of fun stuff.

Friday night was the DWW christmas party. Lots of people were there... close to 30 people crammed into J&A's little apartment. There was lots of food. Two pots of chili were made, lots of brownies, cutely decorated cupcakes, and other sweets. My gas grill made an appearance to cook up hot dogs and burgers... all of it was great. It was really nice to see everyone and just hang out. I got to be Santa for a little bit, the beard was great! There are a few pictures up on FB... more are coming. So you can see some of the fun yourselves!

Saturday was a bit of a chill day. I relaxed around the house for a while, went to the mall to get a secret santa gift, and then went to visit someone that I probably shouldn't have. I was waiting to leave for greensboro (I had to pick up ML for our show on sunday) when I made contact with a girl. So many of you know who this girl is, I'm not even going to give a first initial. I hadn't heard from her in a while... which is pretty common for her. We often make plans that she breaks...but this time she was home alone and bored and wanted to make good on one of the rain checks she had written me. I couldn't go out, but I told her I'd stop by and visit for a bit before I had to leave. I admit, I did feel slightly used and irritated that the only time she thought of me was when someone else had left her home alone and she didn't have anything, or anyone, else. Previously I had even told myself, and her, that we should see each other; that it wasn't fair, but things... were different. At least different enough that I think visits are ok now. I admit, I was upset that my time was limited to only half an hour or so, when she would have given me several hours. Time with her is so limited that... or at least its been limited in the past... it will likely be that was in the future as well... I want as much as I can get whenever I can get it. I enjoyed the time with her. Even though I know there are many many many reasons that she is wrong for me, she feels right when I hug her. Even though everything she tells me might only be in half truths, I believe we could be together (even though she's never even said it...). It's most likely because she always blows me off that I want her so much... I've got issues I know. So, eventually I had to leave. We had a few really great hugs (she told me it was because she hadn't been hugged in a while that she squeezed me so tight... I didn't mind at all), and I left. We talked on the phone for about an hour while I drove to greensboro... It was nice, and little naughty, but fun none the less. We made plans for Monday... that were broken. We made plans for Wednesday, that I honestly don't expect to be held. Ahhh, but I know what I'm getting into, and I've set my expectations very low, so don't worry about me with this one.

Then, I picked up ML! We drove back to Raleigh and found that the studio was being rented out for the night so we couldn't use it to practice any. We ended up going to Rockford instead. I love that place, but I was really upset to see my two favorite sandwiches no longer on the menu! Hopefully its just a seasonal thing and the salmon will come back in the spring. We came back to my place and practiced a little bit in the kitchen, then we watched the Blackpool Latin championships. Then we ran through the rumba changes a few more times and hit the sack!

Sunday was the big day. ASTG International Ballroom's Christmas Showcase!!! ML and I got there a little early and ran through things to music on the floor about twice, then I started to help set everything up. It was a long day. I MC'd the whole event... which was pretty fun once I got started. I was pretty nervous about it before we got going, but I got into a groove and apparently I was the best MC they've had in years. It was a big deal that I kept us on schedule! Everything went really well. My dancing was pretty good. I got to focus on my MC job, so I didn't have to watch (with much focus) the dancing that others were doing (... its not fair to them but I always compare everyone to the world champions that I enjoy and that they've never even heard of). ML and I did pretty well. We had a bumpy first couple of beats but we finished strong. We had people come up to us and tell us how much our piece put them 'in the mood' so they needed to get home pretty quick... yeah. My friend CFuP girl was there, and she got some great shots of everything, so I hope to have some of those up to show everyone soon.

Afterwards I had some chinese food with friends and watched White Christmas. Fun.

Another girl from my recent past has come back into my life. She specifically asked me not to say anything in my blog about her, so I won't say anything specific. Just that I am enjoying my time with her, and that I think about her... fondly. She's a lot of fun, and its clear that she cares for me. And it's nice it's nice to feel cared for.

This has been a great couple of days for me... and I am pretty darn happy right now.

:-)

migration...

So I finally signed up for a gmail account... the only problem is that I didn't do it from inside my previous google account. So now I have two separate google accounts. One for the new gmail and one for everything else.

Pain.
In.
My.
Ass.

It wasn't until I looked in the help section to try and merge the accounts that it told me I needed to make it from within the account. Ugh...

So anyway, things might look a little off here for a while. I added the new gmail me as an Admin, and removed the old yahoo me. If everything goes like I want it to, you guys should be able to notice a difference at all. I've basically cut and paste all the info from the old account onto the new account. It's just a matter of cancelling things and resigning up for them.

I might drop the whole AdSense thing. So far I've made a whole $2.61 on it... it won't pay out until I get to $100. And I'd have to create a new one... so I'd get kicked back down to $0.00. It was a fun experiment, it told me I write a lot about dance and depression...

Anyways... just a heads up in case things are a little funky around here for a little while.

my birfday... so far

I'm sick. I've been sick since last Friday. It's not very evident to others that I'm sick, but boy is it evident to me. I can't eat anything, or at least I'm not hungry. I only eat half of what I should be eating. The worst part though it the amount of time I spend in the bathroom. I'll let your imagination take it from there.

Why am I telling you about this in regards to my birthday? Because I usually really like going someplace new and slightly fancy for dinner on my birthday, and so far today I've had zero desire to eat anything. I had already planned on not doing anything for my birthday. Since it fell on a Wednesday I figured I'd be in Greensboro dancing, but ML called me and she's sick today too. So, we're not meeting there and I've got nothing to do at all. The thing is, I don't know if I really want to do anything anyway...

So, that was a bit more of a tangent than I wanted it to be.

Yesterday... since I thought I'd be gone today, my Mom brought me a small, single layered, chocolate cake with chocolate chips and cream cheese frosting. I haven't been able to eat much, but it's good. I'm very happy with it. She also gave me my b-day present yesterday... a Blu-Ray player?! Totally unexpected, but she got a really good deal on it. It was a display model, so it was missing the box, the documentation, the remote... basically everything but the actual player. She also gave me Batman Begins on BD. I put it in to test it out and the movie started right up. It looked pretty good too. We watched for a little while and then we went to Sadlack's a split my favorite sandwich in the WORLD... the turkey applejack. Man that thing is amazing.... we also had sweet potato fries, but I was full after half a sandwich (ridiculous... I hate this illness). Later I finished watching Batman and then just hung out for a while. I decided not to go to Inga's so I could save my energy for today's practice... oh well. I met up with some folks at Bo Bo's and then we went to Block buster and rented another movie on BD.

This one gave us problems.... remember, I don't have a remote for this thing. This disc went to a menu first, and pressing play on the player did nothing... I messed with it an hour or so. I updated the firmware (I think, I can't check it without the blue button on the official remote). Then I gave up and put batman back in. I slept through a lot of it.

I went to bed, woke up, had a very nice morning, ate some cake, and then felt really sick again. It probably doesn't help that the only thing I've been eating the past two days was salami (part of a taste test on campus... made $30).

I got a new remote (spent $30) and it works most of the features, I think... Without the original for comparison, I don't know what I'm missing out on.

Now, I've got nothing to do. I hadn't planned on being home. I figured I'd be dancing. Maybe I'll be able to throw something together, but short notice is really difficult during finals...

Lapdance...check!

Let's start the weekend discussion with Friday. It was the last day of classes and they last day that I'd get to work with any of my students at NC State. It was an easy day for them. All they had to do was come in and drop off some materials. So, they didn't even have to be there for the entire class period, but it never failed that a few hung around with me until my next class began. That was fun. The student interactions have always been my favorite part of teaching.

Then I went and had my samba lesson with Carol... I don't think I've directed these lessons very well. I'm just so focused on getting her to move correctly that I haven't spent enough time on the choreography with her. I haven't spent enough time on it with myself. We don't know the routine very well... and I think its a lot shorter than what everyone else will be doing at the showcase this weekend... It's funny. All my coach ever says to me is that I spend too much time on choreography and not enough on movement, and with her its been the exact opposite. Working at the studio is so different than what this competitive syllabus dancer is accustomed to.

Then I rushed back to campus for my fusion class (its a fusion of yoga and pilates... this one focuses more on pilates). I've been taking this class every Friday for a couple months now. I missed two weeks because of Ohio and Thanksgiving, and I may only get to go to one more since I have to leave the university. I don't know if I'll maintain my gym membership. I love the class. It works all the things I need for dance, so it's great. I wish it did a little more on improving flexibility, but that's me just being selfish again. It doesn't hurt that the instructor is super cute. I mean, this girl is the embodiment of cute. She's very pretty, bot hot, but pretty. That's a good thing though. Never marry a hot girl. Hot girls almost always age poorly and look haggard after a while. Pretty girls, on the other hand, usually are always going to be pretty. Anyways... this class was fun. As usual I was the only guy in a class full of girls, so I set up right in the front (I'm there for the class, not to stare at chicks' asses, they can stare at my ass... I know they do), but this time I ended up right in front of the instructor, and a lot of flirting ensued. My friend E goes to the class too and she pointed out that it started to get a little distracting, and I got a little defensive and told her that I really wasn't flirting that much, but then E pointed out that it wasn't really coming from me as much as it was directed at me. She said the instructor just kept starring at me. I noticed that too, but didn't want to say anything. On a different note, I always push myself in that class. By the end of this one, my legs were shaky and I felt sick! Shakiness is normal, sickness in not.

We'll skip around in time to maintain the continuity of my Fitness story... later that night I found her on facebook and added her as a friend. To my surprise she was listed as single. It surprised me because just a few weeks before she was telling me how her boyfriend had taken out the night before. So then the increases flirting started to make sense to me. I sent her a message Sunday telling how sore I still was, she replied, then I went for it. I sent another message asking if it would be inappropriate for me to take my fitness instructor out for coffee. Then I crash and burn. She replies with 'i think it would be inappropriate bc i just got out of a relationship and do not want to date anyone at this pnt in time' ... or something close to that. Completely understandable, yet still a little sad. I wasn't asking to date her, just for a latte, but I guess there's more commitment to coffee than I thought.

Back to Friday... after the class I went home to change clothes and then went to work a dance party at ASTG. I felt sick. It came and went all night. I'd be ok for one minute and then nauseous the next, but I made it through. I felt exhausted by the end of it. I stopped by the end of the club's social dance for a while but then called it a night. I was in bed by 12:30. I must have had a 'touch of the flu' I couldn't sleep very well. I was up at 5AM with a dance nightmare! I can't remember what it was exactly, just that I was stuck in the same three steps over and over and over and I couldn't get it out of my head, like I was ocd about it. It was terrible. I also felt pretty sick when I woke up, and I spent some time in the bathroom... no fun. I stayed up a total of about 45 min before I got back in bed and slept until 10 or so on saturday.

I made my way to CBC and basically sat around all day. I saw and chatted with a lot of people, but I felt like crap all day. I was excited to see Lina there though. After everything was over, against the will of my ailing body, I went dancing with her and a few others. We found ourselves at some textiles semi-formal. I felt like a chaperon everyone else was so young looking there. They had to have been college students, but freshmen look more and more like kids to me... anyway, we made our own party. It was a blast! We were much better dancers (even club dancers) than the other kids there, and they often turned around to watch our group. It didn't hurt that every other song someone was getting or giving a lap dance. Lina has pictures, they're great, but it was better in person ;) I got a dance from two girls at the same time. I will also add at this point that some girls who I've never been attracted to, became pretty darn hot dancing with me.... We stayed until about 11:30 (which felt like 3:30 to me). I had perked up and had a great time there, but afterwards my exhaustion took over. I was gonna meet with Lina's roommate and hang out with them for a while, but I ended up crashing at home instead. I was so tired when I got home, that I put my pj's on backwards and didn't even notice till morning.

I slept until 11 or so Sunday, and did nothing else all day. I didn't even open the door on Sunday. I was completely shut in. Although, I did feel good when people called me. Its nice when people just call to call. It makes me feel like people actually like me and want to talk to me. I have a birthday coming up, so a few of the call centered around that, but it was still nice to know that people think of me... I've been increasingly lonely lately. The holidays are always difficult to be alone in.

So that's my weekend. As usual the second got shortchanged since I used up all my focus on the first half... it's a good thing I'm not a kid today, I'd be diagnosed with ADD and drugged up in a heartbeat.

Table Tennis Tips

I already liked their music, but now I know these guys are fun.

In contrast...

Do not make someone a priority if they make you an option.

A friend of mine told me she was going to make this one of her resolutions. I should too. I admit that this is somewhat hypocritical of me to say, since I often make people options (see the previous post), but I need to work on this myself.

Instead of chasing after broken goods, when I can't even find all the pieces necessary to put her back together, I should be looking for something off the show room floor. Clean. Runs well. Doesn't need a constant tune up. Don't go shopping for girlfriends in the bargain bin.

People have as much power of you as you give them. The person who cares the least often has the most power. If you're only an option... then they should only be an afterthought.

I'm selfish

I really am. Maybe this is the next thing I need to improve about myself. The next thing I need to fix. I'm pretty sure if you ask people about me they wouldn't think 'selfish' right off the bat on their own, but if you gave them a likert scale and asked them rank my selfishness it'd be pretty high. Especially if you ask any of the women I've dated over the years. Ugh... I'm a little sad and lonely right now, and I'm taking it out on myself. Maybe that's the real thing I should be working on... nope. Let's stick with the selfish thing for a while.

I have a friend. A girl. With whom I am inexplicably interested in. She's having issues with her relationship, and all I can think about is myself. Well, that's not entirely true. I'm in conflict on this. She is a friend, and I do care about her well being. I want to help her however I can. BUT, at the same time I can't help about the possibilities that can result from a potential break up. I'd be able to spend more time with her. All the fun things that we plan to do will actually be able to happen, instead of being interrupted by a jealous boyfriend. Although, maybe there never was a jealous bf, maybe he was always just an excuse not to hang out with me. I want time with her. I want her all to myself. I want... that's the problem. Here it is again... the things I want, that I can't have... they're making me unhappy again.

Do I really want what's best for her, or best for me? The confusing part of this is that I think being with me IS what's best for her. I am such a better influence... although maybe she's not being influenced now. Maybe she is what she is. I like to blame certain faults on the bf, and I like to think that they'd disappear if she were with me, but maybe she's the influence. Maybe, that's just how she is, and I can't do anything about it.

Regardless... the point is I want to help her so that I can help myself. I want to say that I'm interested in helping her, but I worried that the only person I'm really interested in is myself. I can't stop thinking about this as an opportunity.

Is this how S felt? Was he this conflicted while he was chasing my girlfriend? Did he push her to leave me because it would be best for her, or for him?Would things be different if he'd stayed out of it? Being on the receiving end of this sucks, and yet I'm doing it. I'm pushing her to leave him. I honestly think it'd be best for both of them. Their relationship seems so broken. And yet, I cannot stop thinking about how this could benefit me. I'm sure S believed he was doing what was in everyone's best interests. The problem with that is that it was in his best interests too. And that's the problem I'm having... it's in my best interests for them to split too...

Selfish.

I tried to separate myself from the issue, and I was successful for a while. I needed to be angry with her in order to curb my infatuation. The problem is that I'm not an angry person anymore. The problem is that I forgave her, or I believed her when she disputed all the reasons I was angry. I don't know... I cyber-mumbling here.

I can't have her.

So I want her even more... that sucks.

But I can change! I need to change. I need to be more giving. Not just with this situation, but in life. I make everyone come to me, do what I want to do. I rarely go out of my way to help others. That's why I love Ray so much. That man will drop everything he's doing to help you if you need him. He would literally stop in the middle of something and drive half way across the country if you needed him too. And for no other reason than you need his help. I want to be more like that.

That will be my next big personality correction. Over the years I've had other 'corrections'. I used to be a very angry person, with a very short temper. I never hurt anyone, but I would get uncontrollably angry and punch walls, slam my head against desks (which is why I have a bump on my forehead), and break things. But I decided that doesn't help or change anything... so I changed. That was a big one.

This might be humorous to some who know how confident I can be, but believe me when I say I USED to be cocky. I thought I was better than everyone in a great many things, and it was really irritating to the people who knew me. So I changed... for a while I over corrected and became so humble that I wouldn't even take credit for my own achievements. Now, I'm happily confident, but only in the things that I feel I deserve to be. I hope that I don't become overly confident... if I do feel free to knock me down a few pegs.

Currently I'm working on a little correction. I'm working on saying 'you're welcome'. I don't like how when someone thanks me and all I say back is 'yeah' or 'mmhmm'. They took the time to thank me, the least I can do is take the time to properly respond to their thanks. That one's coming along well.

The next big thing is to be less selfish. By this time next year, I hope I'm there.


This post is all over the place. If you made it this far you deserve a high five. I'll give you one next I see you. Thanks.

One of my most favorite things!

The Gay Bar

The viking kitty in the hover pack might the best part...

This Price of Greed

This is ridiculous. What message does this send about us as a people? Out of all the people that trampled this poor man not a single one reached down to help him up. Are we really a culture that is so greedy and self centered that we would literally kill for a bargain? I hope not.

Something needs to change in the way black Friday sales work. If people can't control themselves then it's up to the retailer to do it for them. If shoppers act like children then maybe we should treat them like children. Although I suppose one could argue that it is the amount we are already treated like children that prevents us from ever growing up... but I digress.

Christmas List

So, here we are. The day before Thanksgiving. Most of my family will say that this is long overdue, but at least I'm getting it out before black Friday.

Now I'm not as cool as my brother, so I'm not going to have a super specific list with hyperlinks to where you can order each and every item. I will, however, provide a list with specific qualifications of what I want. Individual brands matter less (in most cases) than the features I'm looking for. So, in no particular order, here we go:

• A Netbook - Such as the ASUS eeePC models S101, 1000, or 901. I want one with at least 1GB of RAM, an Intel Atom 1.6 GHz processor, and a SSD. I'm leaning towards a Linux operating system, but I'd rather take the model with the larger SSD.

• 1 Terabyte Drive - An external hard drive with 1 TB of storage (they're not that much more than a 500GB drive)

• Flash Drive - A really big flash drive for my key chain. Like 16 or 32 GB. I bet these will be on sale for black Friday...

• Office Chair - I want a new office chair, but I haven't picked one out. I think I want one with the big roller blade style wheels. It seems like those would work better on carpet.

• GPS Navi System - A navi with a nice big and bright screen, free map upgrades, TEXT to SPEECH (where it says the road names), and it would be great if it had real time traffic updates...
  

• A BluRay player - I've got a great HDTV, but no HD movie ability. Any BR player will do, but if it came in the form of a Playstation 3, that would be even better!

• Guitar Hero World Tour (XBOX360) - This is the game that comes with three instruments. Not to be confused with Rock Band or Rock Band 2. I want the GUITAR HERO WORLD TOUR that comes with a guitar, microphone and drum set. The instruments that come with GHWT are better than those that come with RB2

• Video Games - All for XBOX 360. These don't have to be new. Used games work just as well. All I ask is that you check the game disc for scratches.
  
• Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
• Fable 2
• Tenchu Z
• Halo 3
• Gears of War
• Grand Theft Auto 4
• Dance Dance Revolution (with a compatible dance mat)

• 1 year xbox live Gold membership

• Xbox Live points

• Onkyo TX-SR606 Surround Sound receiver - If I'm gonna be watching HD movies I'll need a receiver than can convert HD audio...

• Body Fat % Scale - I'd like a digital scale that tells weight within .2 pounds and body fat with .5%. I need to start getting leaner for Nationals so I can look good in my dance shirts. This will help me keep track of my progress.

• GIFT CARDS!!! in any denomination and to anywhere really, but here are some suggestions:
• Wal-mart
• Target
• Food Lion
• Best Buy
• Crabtree Mall

• Just for fun let's throw in a new couch and love seat, and how about a new front porch? Maybe landscaping service for a year?

I might add more or make things more specific as time goes by...

**Here's some new stuff**

• Pure Beech® Sateen Sheet Set, 100% Modal, 250 Thread Count - White. These are the softest sheets ever and they can be found at Bed Bath & Beyond. I have several 20% off coupons if you need one...
  

in Ohio!

Friday morning I left for the National Collegiate Dancesport Championships and the Ohio Star Ball. Five people crammed into my little civic for the 8 hour drive to Columbus, but it wasn't that bad of a trip. We had a pretty easy time finding the hotel thanks to Amy (the voice I like to use on my brother's GPS). Amy usually does a good job, except when her maps are outdated or there are two exits next to each other and all she says is take the (singular) exit. I had one big frustration due to that problem and the Ohio State Michigan football game that was the same weekend.

So we check in and get to the room. It's a nonsmoking room that smells of smoke. No one really seemed to be that upset about it; so we kept it. All of my things still smell like smoke... anyways. We unpacked and headed over to the convention center to check out the show and practice a little bit.

It was awesome. Some of the best dancers in the world, and certainly the best dancers from the US were there, and I got to see them up close! Friday night were the quarter and semi final rounds for the pros. And let me tell you, there is a big difference from a quarter final pro and a finalist pro. There were a few couples out there, especially in the rhythm, that I would look better than.

Then we went and warmed up a little bit. It felt pretty good, we both liked the floor (although most everyone else said it was slick...) Then we went through a bit of a fiasco trying to get everyone back to the hotel. Somehow we picked up a sixth person that was going to stay with us that night.

Eventually we did get back to the hotel though. We all get to sleep, and let me tell you, that was the best/deepest sleep I've had the night before a competition in a long time... at least until the fire alarm went off and woke us all up at 4 AM!!!! It was so freakin loud! and it was sooo cold outside. But, was there a fire? NO. It was a new system and incorrectly activated. The night lady at the desk didn't know how to turn it off. It lasted for at least 15 min. Maybe longer. Then, back to bed, and back up!

Since we now had more people I had to make two trips to comp to get everyone there... I'm not driving to the next comp. My car got a little beat up from this one, and it needs a break.

So we're finally all there with just a little time before we have to go out and do out thing. And Our Thing we did! I'm very happy with the results. We danced the gold rounds first. I wanna say there was an 8th round, but it may have only been a quarter for each set. Either way I kept getting surprised every time we made the next round... well not the first time. I expected to make it through the first round, but we made it all the way to the finals! We tied for 2nd place in our cha-cha rumba (the results show that we got 2nd in cha-cha and third in rumba) and then got 4th place in samba jive. Overall that put us 4th in Gold. Although every couple that was ahead, and some that were behind, us in the gold were also in the Novice final. So I felt good about that.

Then we had to dance the millions of rounds of silver! There were three rounds before we got to the quarter finals. Now, somewhere in here I should have eaten a meal, but I just never thought about it. Apparently ML ate a pb&j sandwich somewhere in there. I didn't see her, so I didn't even consider food. I was in comp mode, but it seems that affected me. I didn't feel it, but ML said my energy level was down through most of the silver. Now, I was actively conserving energy for the early rounds, but I admit I had a hard time getting back up for the semi and final. So, now that I've improved my endurance at the gym its time to throw some sprints in there at the end to get myself ready for a long haul with good finish.

We dominated the silver round... up until the final. We got 1st place in our cha-cha rumba, and second place in samba jive. The results show that it was a 2nd place in jive that hurt us, but it was very close. As best as I can tell we tied in the final and had the same number of call backs in the semi, but in the 22 couples at one time quarter final we had one less callback. That's why we're second and they're first. Very Close. We still placed 1st overall for silver, so that was nice.

Obviously I need to improve my samba and jive. I already started drilling last night. Getting more into the floor, improving my bounce, and relaxing so the top doesn't telegraph the action of the bottom.

That's only Friday and Saturday, but I'm tired of this post now. So, in brief, I didn't dance standard on Sunday. I was well rested for the drive home. Made it back to my place at 3 AM, with only a few casualties along the way :(

Overall very good and very FUN trip!

I'm icing my ass...

yeah... apparently I strained some ligament or something that runs from my left ass cheek, across my hip, and down to the side of my knee. Dance injuries... what can you do? So I heated it for 15 min and now I'm icing for 25.

I'd gotten out of the habit of stretching before my practices, and it looks like that was a mistake. SO, from now on I'm a stretchin fiend. I'm gonna stretch those hammies and both cheeks before I start moving. My hip action is a big part of my dancing, and if it's painful to do, I'm in trouble.

I just hope I'm up to snuff by Friday night. There's a very important competition this Saturday in Ohio, and I want to win! I'm not sure we're quite where we need to be to win it all, but I think we've got a good chance.

I'd be really upset if an ass injury got in my way...

I Must Apologize...

for my irregularity of posting lately and generally falling off the blog-o-sphere. The truth is... I haven't felt up to it. I'm at a low point in my life, and I've been battling a light depression. Right now, at this very instant, I feel pretty sad and lonely. I feel like there's so much I'm upset about that I can't begin to write about it. I think that once I start I'll just keep writing, and every entry will become an epic; and epic to failure.

That's not really true. I don't feel like a failure, but I am often unhappy these days. I get like this when I feel like I have too little stability in my life. If I have one thing that I can hold on to, that is unchanging, then I'm usually pretty good. Other things don't really bother me as much. If I've got a stable relationship, where I feel loved and supported, then Instability in my career is more acceptable. Likewise, if I feel secure in my job and I lose my girlfriend, I eventually bounce back and do fine. There are other things that I like to draw stability from as well, primarily dance, but those are the two biggest ones. Right now, I don't have either.

I am one of the many budget cuts occurring within the UNC system. I don't have a position to teach in the spring. And I don't know what I'm going to do. This is one of those times where it would really help to have someone. A special someone for moral support, but then I think about how I've pushed all those people away, and blah blah blah, cry cry cry, get over it and be a man! So I start to look for jobs. There are no teaching jobs in NC. At least none that I can find. All the promise I had at the beginning of the semester, all the things I was excited about, teaching Interpersonal instead of Public Speaking, teaching a section at St Aug's... all gone. Now I'm not teaching anything.

But I have my ups and downs. Just in the process of writing this a friend started chatting with me over IM and I'm feeling a bit better. So, on the bright side of things... at least on the job front, I'm supposed to have lunch with a friend from grad school sometime soon, and I hope that it's the type of lunch that deals with me coming to work with her at her pretty cool company on Centennial Campus.

Although as I chatted I got distracted from the message I was delivering here. So, that's another problem I'm having with the blog. I can't get everything I want to say out in a short post. I just keep typing and typing. Anyways... I'll try to do better, try to post more often, and maybe with less detail.

It's just hard. It's one thing bitching about the trials and tribulations of being single. In a way, dealing with crazy random crap that girls throw at me is fun. It's part of what being single is all about, but I guess it all goes back to Maslow. When we lose our base needs, or they are threatened, other things don't matter as much... our entire pyramid begins to crumble. When you lose your income, you don't know how you're going to pay the mortgage or feed yourself. Your base needs aren't being fulfilled... not to mention the loss of identity you suffer when you have to change your career. Especially one that you began to associate so closely with who you are.

Things are tough right now.

Chocolate Bag!!!

My mother and I have gotten into a habit of having lunch together on Tuesdays now since I'm usually teaching dance Thursday nights, when we used to have dinner with my brother. This past Tuesday Mom wanted to go to McCormick's & Schmiks (I probably spelled that wrong). It's one of the restaurants that's been built on the new deck at Crabtree mall.

It's fancy. The inside of the place vaguely reminded me of the Sam Sneads at the Greenbrier resort. Lots of stained wood and an expensive feeling. Though we sat at a table in the middle of the dining room, there are booths that have individual privacy curtains. I thought that was pretty cool.

The place looked expensive because it was. The two of us spent $40 on lunch! And all we got were two entrees, ice waters, one coffee, and a dessert. An $11 dessert! The Chocolate Bag.

The waiter said it was a lunch portion and that is was smaller and cheaper than the dinner bag... I'm afraid to know how much I'd spend there at dinner.

This bag was pretty awesome though. They take a brown paper lunch bag, and use it as a mold to create an identical replica made from dark chocolate. You can even see the creases from where the brown bag had been folded. Then they fill that bag of chocolate with white chocolate mousse, and on top of that they but strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, and one of those long, drinking straw looking, cookies. This was a smaller one, and Mom and I barely finished it.

This is definitely the place to take a girl you really, REALLY, want to impress.

Gummi!!!

The biggest gummi bears ever!!!!

Below is a picture with CJ's hand in the frame for perspective, and Cj's got a pretty big hand. These 12" tall Gummi cost $30 each at the candy store in the mall... I'm thinking, "Who needs a birthday cake when you could have a birthday gummi?"

**Yawn** I'm tired from such a week of awesomeness

Well two nights staying up until 4AM finally caught up with me. I slept until 12:15 today, but it was well worth it. I've had an absolute blast of a week! I'll admit, it started off a little slow I think, and in my tired state I'll probably get the order of events a little wrong, but what the heck.

Sunday was a long day! I drove an hour+ to Greensboro to meet up with the Crowder's so I could ride 2 hours to Charlotte. ML and I had a pretty good practice session. In Wayne's silver samba lesson I gleaned 2 gems worth at least $50 of lesson time, so that rocked. Then our private was ok. I don't think I really got a lot out of it, but I'm pretty sure ML did, so that's good. He told us that our latin is good (and told us we were as good or better than the open level couple practicing next to us) and that he wants us to start to focus on out standard a little more. He changed my frame a little and we both gave ML a little guilt trip for not speaking up enough to tell me when I'm not doing things right. If you don't tell me I'm wrong I'll never get better... anyways, we practiced for 3 hours then I did the whole drive process back home. I was away from home for 12+ hours sunday... and the floor down there is the hardest floor I've ever danced on! My feet hurt for days.

Then I ran into a little bit of a relational snag... those dang Js. This was a big downer on the week, because I hurt her feelings, and I hate to hurt anyone. But, without getting too much into it, I think things will be ok. I made a pretty serious gesture of goodwill in hopes to make things a little better... and I think it did. At least I hope I did, otherwise I went above and beyond what most people would do for nothing. For privacy purposes, ask me about this one in person. Only the super cool can hear about what I did.

Then came the FAIR!!! I had a fantasmicly awesome time at the fair. I went with a bunch of first years from the department that I really didn't know very well before hand. I originally was going to go with a few others that I had hung out with before, but schedules didn't line up with them. So I heard that another group was going, and I'm not sure but I may have invited myself to go with them... it was one of those "Hey, I hear you're going to the fair" and they replied with a potentially obligatory invitation... but I took it! Anyways, back to the awesomeness, the FOOD! I really didn't eat that much, last year I think I had more. But, the great thing about a group is that you get to sample more stuff without getting full. So I had:

• Funnel Cake
• Fried Oreos (these were awesome)
• Chicken on a Stick (very spicy! that's what I get for sharing with an Indian, she covered it in hot sauce, but it was good! I can handle some heat)
• Corn on the Cob (my FAVORITE)
• NCSU Ice cream - Java Bean and Cookies and Cream (yes I know we can get it on campus for really cheap, but the amount you get at the fair is massive! It was a freaking mountain of Ice Cream! It took the whole group to finish both of them)
• Fried Pecan Pie (this was the new thing this year, it was pretty darn good. Much better than the fried coke and PB&J of recent years past! Although the stick its on is worthless)
• Footlong Chili Dog
• Ribbon Fries
• Bloomin Onion
• Caramel Apple w/Peanuts

I'm sure I forgot at least one thing, but that's most of it. I missed the free hush puppies, so I'm sad about that, but it was all so freakin sweet (as in cool... as in good) We looked at cool stuff too, there was a bull that sold for $24,000! I saw a couple people I haven't seen in years there, so that was cool to. Umm... right, the petting zoo! I always have the hardest time finding the freaking petting zoo, but we did there was an angry camel and a lot of cute little goats. We saw the fireworks and then I think we were all so cold that we made our way to the exit (but not before we picked up some food along the way... half of what we ate was on the way out!)

That was Wednesday. Thursday I got a migraine and had to cancel my dance lesson, which suck cuz I need that extra little bit of cash, but! Afterwards I woke up and met up with the dance crew and they all came over to watch Taledaga Nights on my new TV. I had wanted Zoolander to be the first movie on the new TV, but TN + good friends to watch it with totally made up for it. It was much fun. After the movie I showed them Lego Star Wars and people just hung out in my house until 3:30AM... I had to teach in the morning! SO I kicked 'em out after that. But it was good, I had my big mac for dinner and I was happy! I love company!

Last night, Friday, I did the dance thing again and after that we all went to Cici's Pizza. I'm not sure if it was because I had a late lunch or if I was still recovering from the fair, but I only downed 15 slices. I probably could have done more, but people were ready to leave... so I had to stop. But I ate as many as anyone else there, so that's cool. Anyway, after that we all came back over to my place again, but this time CJ and V brought Rock Band!!! YES!! So we played rock band until all hours of the night. I'll be honest, the guitar riffs in RB stink compared to GH, but the drums freakin rule and I had fun singing too.

I'm so glad I've developed these friendships. I feel like my life is much fuller now that I interact with so many awesome people. So, even though I sometimes get sad that I'm not dating anyone right now (feast or frickin famine) my life is soooooo much better for all the friendships and relationships I'm forging!

:)

Now I remember..

Now I remember why I don't like getting hair cuts. Because they always chop off more than you ask for! They always ask you what you want and then give you what they think you should have. Basically they give you the cookie cutter hair cut that every other poor schmuck that doesn't really care about their hair asks for.

Ugh...

All I asked her to do was a slight trim on the back and sides and to even out the top. I didn't say anything about touching the front of my bangs. I figured she would ask about them before chopping them clear off! Now I have nothing to style and nothing to part in the front. I even told her that I wanted to be able to part the front and that THE ONLY THING I wanted her to do was to even out the top after my event a couple weeks ago.

Then, after she took the first chunk of the front of my hair out and I said that I hadn't planned on going that short in the front, she gives me a lecture (with a little attitude behind it) about why I shouldn't let an 'un-professional' cut my hair. She was forced to 'blend' my hair off in the front. Blend?! Blending is a transition from the short on top to the slightly longer in front, not a cutting of the front to match the short top. What ever happened to the customer is always right? When did it become, "the customer better shut the f*ck up and be happy with I give him... and by the way the customer is a dumb *ss for letting an un-professional cut his hair; its your own fault that I had the blend your hair off."

Now I don't know what to do with it... it looks like every other guys. I don't think I can do the part anymore, it's too short. In fact I think it might stand up in the front now. Grr.

The Race(s)

Here's a current graph from pollster.com. The race in NC is a pretty close one. Right now, it looks like Obama's up, but things can always change in the final seconds of a big game! So whether you want to rally support for your Maverick (I guess that makes Palin Goose?) or ensure that your eloquent Emissary of Change stays on top, you need to vote. GO! Right now! VOTE! Vote early! Don't wait for election day and then lose your opportunity to play a part in our democratic system because 'something came up.'

Remember, if you don't vote then you're not aloud to complain when our next president, whomever he is, does something stupid.

VOTE



PS - I've added the Senate and Gubernatorial polls for NC as well. Remember, your local officials have a larger impact on your day to day lives. Be sure to educate yourself on those races as well.

Costumes part 2

today I'm going out again in another attempt to find materials for a Dr. Horrible costume. I think there's a new halloween shop in crabtree and then there's always party city. If I don't find the lab coat I need for Dr. Horrible then I'll probably look for materials to be the Hamburglar or I might do something as simple as Gilligan... although finding the right hat may not be simple at all. The biggest problem with being Gilligan is that I would need other characters with me to really be identified as someone other than just a guy in white pants and a red shirt...

So I just walked all

So I just walked all the way to the fair to find that the people I was meeting weren't there and weren't coming. So Im walking home

Costuming Follies

So I really want to be Dr. Horrible for Halloween, but it's proving very difficult to find all the parts of the costume! I went to a medical uniform supplier and they looked at me funny when I asked for a lab coat that buttons down the shoulder and the side. The closest thing they had was one old pale blue shirt that was only torso lengthed. It snapped down the side, but was all wrong. I can't find white boots or long enough gloves, and I haven't been able to locate any welding goggles yet either. I still need to try ace hardware, but without the right lab coat it might be a waste of time. I mean, I can spray paint some boots and gloves, and if I ask around I could probably find close enough goggles, but I just don't know where I'll be able to find the right lab coat.

Another option I've been tossing around is the Hamburglar... I think I could combine a prisoner costume with a zorro costume to pull that off pretty well.

I don't know folks, hwlp me out with some other ideas! or let me know where I can find stuff to make the Dr. Horrible costume.

I might just wuss out and buy some crappy costume from the store... or buy some spiderman pajamas...

Fall Break

A lot and nothing all at once happened over fall break. I'm not sure what I write will be able to explain that statement, or if I'll even try to, but I think it sums up the weekend for me.

I was excited for Thursday night. I had planned it in my mind that it would be a hugely fun night where all of the new 1st years that I haven't met yet would hang out and we'd all have fun out on the town. I'd make new friends and have a blast. Well then it rained... and people were out of town... or just somehow boring and couldn't/didn't want to hang out. So it was going to become a real low key event where one new person and one friend were gonna come over and watch a movie. Then my buddy calls me up and he's into a chill night so he heads over. We all sit around for a while before we decide we want to go out... party is back on! Albeit in a much more condensed version than my mind had originally planned. We went to PR and had a lot of fun. Three people split three pitchers... one didn't hold it as well as the other two. I got to know the new girl, who I absolutely LOVE! She's super fun, has a lot of cool interests, and she wants to set me up with her friend. How cool is that! I got the lowdown gossip on all sorts of new people, and I was upset to hear that I had a bad reputation among the first years. Through no fault of my own, other than who I chose to associate with in the beginning of the year. Apparently in order for one girl to paint herself in the best light possible I had to be painted in a very poor light. She gave everyone the wrong idea about me and now I understand why it's been so hard to build relationships with the new group. It's been an up hill battle, but now I can see the tide changing. I've convinced a few that I'm not what they were led to believe and there's a sort of snowball effect of people smiling at me more. It's nice to be liked! That girl has caused me a great deal of strife... and I'd probably still go out with her in a heartbeat. Ugh.

Thursday night was fun... there was a lot of middle school 'I like him' and 'does she like me?' crap that was goin on, but it was fun.

Friday we cruised down to the beach. We didn't get started as early as I had hoped. I slept in a little later than I should have and neither of us were really packed and ready to go with any speed. In hindsight it may have been better not to have gone at all. We get in the car and the closer we get to the beach the more it rains. It rained the entire time there. We got down in the afternoon and layed around the trailer for a while; relaxing with the cable on. Then we hit up Sanitary again... and again it was overpriced (although the fudge sundae was just the right price point), but this time I got to share the history of it. It was a little like what we had talked about in the earlier post. She had never been, so I got to share with her the history and experience of a NC landmark. Kinda cool, even if the shrimp did cost 20 bucks (ridiculous... I had soup). So, it was still raining, so a walk on the beach was out. We went back to the place and watched Survivor Man all night, then went to sleep. The next morning is... that's right rainy! Now, this girl sleeps late! I mean she will sleep all day if you let her. I woke up once about 8:30 and she was out, so I go back to sleep... 10:30, she's out... 11:30 she's rolling over... 12:30 she's awake and we're watching tv in bed. Now, that wouldn't have been a bad thing except that I got a migraine about 1 while we're watching something on the food network. This rainy trip just went from mediocre to bad. I take my drugs (by some happenstance I thought to bring them) and I kick her out of the room so I can try to sleep even more to make it through the headache. I offered her my car to take to the aquarium (that was our planned excursion for the day), but understandable she doesn't want to go alone. So I sleep for the next 3.5 hours while she studies in the living room. I woke up and felt the trip was so bad already that I just wanted to go home. The weather totally did not cooperate, and I feel guilty about the whole thing. I don't think she really wanted to leave, but she didn't say otherwise... so we came back home. The whole trip she was a little disconnected... she'd just stare out the window, even if there wasn't anything to look at. It's a common enough girl trick. Avoid eye contact and conversation at all cost... I won't tell him I'm upset but I'll make this car ride a real pain in the ass... I deserved it though I'm sure.

We make it back to Raleigh and the weathers perfect... warm sunny days.

Sunday I drove to Greensboro for a 6 hour practice session. It was good. We did a lot, but it doesn't feel like we got much done. I don't know... tough to explain. Oh well. Sunday'll get short changed. I feel like I've written a book so far... so I'm done. Sunday was good... long practice in Greensboro... came home and played Lego Star Wars. Fun.

51

51 hits on Wednesday. The most in a single day. I never knew urine was such a fascinating topic. Cool.

Why?

Why is there always a puddle under the urinal? Come on guys... you can aim better than that!!!

Free Energy?

Just like we pass a magnet back and forth near a bundle of wires we produce a current, would it be possible on some grand scheme to pass something through the earth's own magnetic field to produce electricity? Ray, you can tell me why this won't work... other than we'd somehow have to pass a gi-normous copper coil from beyond the planet's emf, through it, and then back out, and then somehow transmit the current produced back to the surface. I know it's not feasible in practice, but could it work?

World of hits

I have gotten more hits in the past 24 hour period than any other 24 hour period before. 44 hits for my little blog, from all over the world. I've got hits from TX, VA, GA, South Africa, Australia, NY, PA, MI, MO, CA, CT, Ontario, WY, FL, Panama, Funcom, Germany, West Point, AZ, and of course the Raleigh area.

Wowzers! I hope I said something that's really cool and I haven't pushed someone's buttons. I was really amazed with the sudden flux of international hits until I noticed that they're all coming from some link in a forum, www.limboftw.com.

The actual thread is restricted, so I've got no idea what's being said about The Back Porch. As best I can figure it's a WoW guild forum, and from what I can tell it's a pretty high level and well organized guild. Some WoW player is sharing my rants and raves with his/her international friends... kinda cool actually.

I wonder if this will be a one time thing, or if I've gained any new long term readers.

I cut my hair

So yeah... later on the day I returned the Wii, I chopped off about 12 inches of my flowing red locks of hair! Well I can't actually say that I cut it, my buddy in the department is pretty good with a set of electric clippers, so he did the cutting. It was a pretty huge extravaganza! I invited a bunch of people over to watch the football game on my new tv and participate in the removal of two years worth of hair growth. I was a little disappointed with how many people actually showed up. I invited nearly 85 people and had less than 10 show up. Admittedly I sent the invitations out with fairly short notice and through Facebook, which may not have been the best way even if it was the easiest. I think I figured out today that FB doesn't make the invite very easy to spot since most people have their email notifications turned to the least invasive setting, so maybe people just didn't hear about it. But I did have a moment or two where I wondered how many real friends I actually have, and I was saddened by where my thoughts led me. I don't have very close friends anymore, at least none that are close by and able to participate in events like this. I'm getting old, all of my best friends from years past are all grownups with wives and children now, and I haven't done a good job of building new friendships that are as strong as the old ones. I feel like I'm getting better about that though, so that's good. And the people that did show up, I think that they could all become really good friends, if they aren't already. The biggest problem is that most, if not all, of them are only temporary residents of the area. In a year or two they'll all move away and I'll be right back in the same lonely situation... although I'll probably have a lot more places to stay when I go on vacation across the country :)

Back on topic... We watched the first half of the game and then it was time to say goodbye. I sat down on a stool in the kitchen and they proceeded to put my hair into about a dozen little pigtails, each one about 10" long... then came the big cut! The first tail to go was just above my right eye. My buddy leaned over me and asked, "Are ya rrreeady?!" I told him I was and he started to cut into it. The cut didn't quite feel like I had expected. I thought it would go in one swift clip, but instead he had to cut at it 4 or 5 times to get all the way through the first tail. I smiled like a dear in headlights the whole time... periodically making forced laughter.

It really didn't affect me as much as I expected it to. I thought I would cry about it, but it happened and I felt good about it. I had some killer razor burn on the back of my neck for about a day and a half... and generally my neck and ears are a lot colder now. I'm sure I'll regret this throughout the winter, but what the hell.

and I'm a little worried that the loss of my ponytail has screwed with my balance and I won't be able to turn as well for a while...

there are many pictures of the entire process and even a video on facebook... if you're not already my friend, add me to see them.

I went to The Office last night. I thought I hated that club. I thought that club was full of douche tool bag guys.

I was right. That club sucks.

FIN

Thanks for the memoWiis

Well, she finally asked for her Wii back. I can't blame her... it's been months since we broke up, and it is her wii. I sort of dreaded boxing it back up for her. Right after we broke up I reorganized the entertainment center in such a way that all the cables for it were much harder to get to... in essence making it more difficult for anyone to reclaim it. I really thought, at the time, that we wouldn't stay broken up. I thought that it'd be a temporary break. Even when she told me about her new man, I expected him to be a temporary fling. I expected her to date someone else and only think about how much she missed me. Amazing how I can have such a low self-esteem and yet still be the cockiest S.O.B. on the block, but having her inflated my self worth and gave me that confidence. Granted, my confidence level is 83% higher than it ever was in college, but having her and another before around really gave me a boost. Of course I still fluctuate; sometimes I feel like nobody likes me at all, but other times I tell myself that I'm just so awesome women are intimidated to speak with me (not as much as I probably should though). Anyway...

I pulled out the entertainment center and unplugged everything (as a consolation to losing the Wii I bought myself a 42" plasma screen TV... so really I pulled the entertainment center out to set that up and the wii was a secondary objective... that's what I tell myself). I put the Wii back in its original packaging. I boxed that thing up like it brand new again. That way her and her new bough will be able to have an exciting christmas morning experience of unpacking it and setting it up, similar to the one we shared the day we waited in line one early morning at Best Buy. That might have a bitter tone to it, but it really was my intention. I want her to have a happy experience opening it up.

Tangent: Am I too much of a nice guy? Cuz sometimes I feel like I'm not finishing the race with the leaders of the pack...

Not only did I box up the Wii, but I got a box and put all of her stuff from the bathroom drawer in it, and all the other random stuff she left at me house... even her hot air popcorn popper. All that's left is her bike... sitting right here next to me in my office.

I'm not too upset about the Wii. I didn't even turn it on after we broke up. I don't know if that's because it reminded me of her, or I just wasn't interested in playing. I don't play as many games I once did.

So she came by yesterday morning to pick everything up, and seeing her in my house, sitting on my living room floor, green eyes and bright smile beaming up at me... I was hit with a sudden pang of missing her, and I was just a little sad for what I had lost. And of course she was wearing a really low-cut V-neck tank top, her tits bounding forth... MAN ALIVE do I miss those knockers! I loved playing with her boob-wiis... what can I say, I'm a boob man.

:)

But seriously... it's tough when you put a new form of a relationship in an old setting. When I said goodbye to her, I wanted to kiss her. That's what always happened when she left my house in the past, it's what seemed natural to do this time. But things change. She left, with most of her stuff, I didn't get a kiss, and I was ok. Besides... I was a little preoccupied with my hair...

Burn

So I feel kinda burned right now. Burned and a little pissed. The worst part about it is that I can't even talk about it here. I have a wide array of readers, most of which I don't know anything about. I don't know who they are or if I know them in my outside life. Most are probably people that I interact with everyday, who just lurk and stalk me a little. Which is cool. Part of the reason I started this blog was because I needed someone to talk to, but didn't really have anybody. I liked the idea that someone would read and listen to me vent (bitch). Even if I don't know who is listening, it's still nice to know that someone is sharing my experience with me. Remember, I'm big on shared experiences. But every once in a while, someone will leave a comment (which I highly encourage you to do, let's make this as much of a dialog as possible, just sign your comments with something so I can refer back to you specifically) or someone will talk to me about my blog IRL, and I figure out a few people that read.

Then it gets tricky. When I don't know anything about who is o isn't reading, then I don't feel like I have censor anything. If someone pisses me off or fires me up I can talk about it, of course without names, and I don't worry about the repercussions. There's a defense wall of safety where if I say something about a person, even if he/she reads it, they can't really acknowledge I said it without acknowledging that they've been reading my blog, so most people don't say anything back. But when I know you're reading, I can't be as free to say something that might upset you. A quandary indeed.

So instead of writing about what burns me, or who burned me, how how I have been burned by the actions of a particular person... I write about NoT being able to say anything about it. Oddly... it's having the same effect. At least right now, I feel better.

Now the funnest part of all this anonymity of who I'm talking about and who's reading, is that I'm sure some people have thought I may be talking about them, when in fact I have been talking about someone else. That's right girls... there's more than one of you out there who does crazy things. Even if all of you girls are doing the same type of crazy lead me on type stuff, some of you think you're the only ones doing it. Well I've got news for you! I've had at least four or five chicks in the past few weeks play games with me. So don't think you're special! You're lucky I haven't confused all your J names! How many girls have names that start with J, I mean three could be a coincidence, but beyond that I'm in the freaking twilight zone now... Well, one of you has been pretty cool, so kudos to you 'J'.

I bet you all think you're the cool one :P

Although, the silver lining to all of this is that people are indeed reading this collection of ramblings I call The Back Porch, and it seems that what I saw here might actually have some impact in the outside world.

I will also add that I have gotten some awefully cool and wierd hits. Hits from outside of this general region are always awesome. I've had hits from Germany, Spain, Russia, L.A., LA, WI, VA, PA, and tons of other places. But I've also had some hits that are a little odd. I think I know who it is, but I just think its wierd that he's reading my blog... but I'll keep that one a little closer to the chest.

Ants in my Pants!!!... well really just my yard

I have a major ant problem in my yard. I just mowed the grass and I must have come across at least 10, and I didn't even mow the whole back yeard! Every mound was like a Mayan temple. Most were 6-8 inches in height and 10-12 in diameter! and these little guys are killers!! I uncovered one mound with the mower and inside it I saw where they had killed a small snake and were beginning to eat it! The poor little guy was probably just looking for a place to get out of the rain and slithered down the wrong hole. The ants were like, 'Hello... we're gonna eat your head off, k?'

I'm just glad I wore long pants and tall socks... and bites do a number on me.

The BEST part of the trip!

It makes some kind of statement that these are the only photos I took of the trip...

Comp Weekend

Well I survived 20 hours of driving... yowza! My ass is still a little sore. I could have let some of the other people take shifts driving, but we took my baby. I'm still not ready to let anyone else drive my baby; that's only happened once, and that was because I was very ill and she got special privileges...

anyways... back to the comp! I'm not so sure we're gonna go back to this one next year. It seemed pretty poorly run, and they were just anal nazis about how things worked. They were generally difficult. For example, they wouldn't let anyone add any events. There were only three couples signed up for 10 dance (only one actually took the floor) and they wouldn't let us add. It wouldn't have made a new heat or anything, but they just wanted to be difficult. They did that to a lot of competitors from all over this weekend. Plus they had the crappy music guy. The guy that did TO this year. I don't like him. He's generally a creepy douche and I really hate how he just fades the music up for the second half of a heat. It's not fair. The other competitors got the first part of the song with the phrasing of the intro, the second half should too; and it takes a little longer to find the phrase if you don't start from the beginning.

I'm pretty happy with our results though. We got 4th in Silver std, placing just behind our closest rival competitors, and 5th in Gold std (our nearby rivals didn't make that final). Then, the second day, we placed 1st in Silver Latin and 2nd in Gold Latin (the couple that beat us in gold also won novice, and we beat the second place couple in novice... I think its time for some open choreography!!!!)

I got to wear my new syllabus latin shirt... I think I looked pretty good in it. I'm a dead sexy beast of a man on the dance floor... I'm just sayin. I ordered another shirt from the same place. This one will be white and for open work... so I better get some open choreo!

One of my irritations is that I messed up paso! I worked really hard on that paso routine and then I got off the phrasing with it. I think we bumped into another couple (they were all standing still cuz they didn't know any paso...) and I tried to get back on. I waited for the highlight and hit it... but I was still four counts early! It was a different song, same counts, but different so it was harder to judge. We still got 3rd in our paso... but that could have gone better and I'm peeved with myself that I let us get off from it.

ML felt really good about our latin, and so did Wayne, but I felt a lot of flaws in my technique, so I really need to start pushing myself. I'm not getting the stretch half of the compression like I need to, and my syncopation in samba is a ltttle off, and my volta action just didn't feel on target at all. I need more speed in my cuban breaks... my chasses need to be tighter, especially my twist chasse... I need to use my core more in my rumba hip action... my arms are horrible... I need to think more about when I want to be quick versus slow and smooth... I need to actually make some jive routine... and then ML and I really need to work on lead follow, connection, and elasticity... and that's just the latin stuff that I know about...

Lots of Work ahead.

Belive it or not!

SO... it was kind of a cool coincidence that I made a post last week about The Greatest American Hero, because that guy was in the season premier of Heroes! In case you didn't recognize him, he was the reporter who cornered Nikki (or whoever she currently is) in the parking garage... he called her an ice queen and then she touched him and he froze and shattered into a million little pieces. Sadly, he died... or did he? She's never had the ability to freeze anyone before. Maybe he froze himself somehow, and he will later put himself together again (the T1000 did it, and Plastic Man can do it).

Wouldn't it be cool if the Greatest American Hero becomes a regular on Heroes?

AHH!!!

I saw this in PetSmart. The expression is priceless ...

Feel free to provide subtitles :)

Fun Day

I had a pretty good day. I slept in for a while, listened to the first half of the football game, watched the second half (where we stomped all over ECU in overtime!) while I ate some honey bbq wings, went to bug fest (where I was surrounded by all things bee), and went to a USA Dance and dinner.

Fun times, but I have to say the most interesting part of my day involved a nose bleed...

I have a rep

So it seems that I have a reputation on the dance team... well I'm sure I have many reputations on the team, but tonight I am specifically talking about my reputation as a "smooth talker." Earlier today I heard that someone had described me as a "smooth talker" and I chuckled a little. I won't try to argue that I'm not a flirt, but I don't know if I can be classified as the team's "smooth talker." I pointed out the couple of other guys on the dance team that also do a lot of flirting and chat up the ladies just as much, if not more than me. My friend agreed with me that there are other flirts on the team, but she pointed out that the key difference is in the 'rate of success'... apparently mine is much higher...

Although many of the people on the team have never even dated anyone, so I'm sure their perspectives are a little skewed.

Belive it or not... It's just me.

I often sing this song when I'm in a good mood, or when I'm in a sullen mood and I want to put myself in a good mood. It makes me feel good cuz it's right in my vocal range, so I can really belt it.

Bonus points if you can tell me what sitcom Andy Gibb often guest stared in, double bonus if you remember he dog's name :)



Then I just found this one cruisin youtube

Girl likes ATTENTION

Hey FRIEND, how you gonna make eyes at me while you're standing right next to your boyfriend? The first time I'm like, Naw... I'm just seein' things; she's not really lookin at ME with those eyes. But the second time... the second time I could feel her eyes piercing me. I raised an eyebrow to say 'I caught you' and she raises hers and cocks her head to reply 'yeah, I'm lookin at you. what you gonna do about it? maybe I wanted to get caught' ... ahh, the non-verbals of a bar.

But she's totally doin it to string me along for attention, and I totally fall into the trap. Women... they can weave a wicked wed indeed.

I once dated a girl who had the ability, with one look, to make my heart beat faster and my blood pressure rise (if you know what I mean). I miss that look... sometimes I even miss the girl ;P That look is definitely a requirement in the woman I end up with.

International House Of Price gouging!

5 pancakes = $5.99

3 pancakes = $5.79 ?!?!?!

WTF Mate?

Blue Grass!

I love going to a blue grass show. I haven't been to one in a while now, but they're always so much fun. I love the acoustic jam style of it and the harmonies of the voices.

A friend of mine told me about these guys about a month ago and I had forgotten about it until they just popped up as one of the 'currently being watched' videos on youtube. They're a little more new age than I'm used to, but I like 'em.

Old Crow Medicine Show


Now these next guys I've seen a couple of times. They always put on a real fun show. Everybody's always just so happy at a bluegrass show!

Chatham County Line

Cuteness overload!

"I swear! I didn't steal anything; I have never seen that bamboo before in my life!"


I'm sure there are better captions, but I'll leave that up to you, my readers. If you want to see even more cuteness follow this link. But beware! You may experience cuteness overload

What am I doing?!

So, WTF?! Right now I'm all sad and downtrodden because of a girl! I'm not really that down, but the point is this girl shouldn't have an affect on me. I didn't even really like this girl. She's kinda cute and one of the few girls around who is in an age range that I don't feel really dirty and swarmy when I hit on her. Seriously, I wasn't really interested in her at all, she's someone nice who I could kill time with. We have all sorts of small world connections, but I doubt we have very many common interests. She often talked about how she was looking for a guy who would be serious and that she couldn't find any college guys that would. That college guys only want one thing, and that's not marriage. Well, I may not be a college guy, but I definitley don't want marriage right now, and I don't think I want 'just one thing'. I'm freakier than that, I'm sure I can come up with at least two or three things to do...

But the thing is, I was just about to totally come clean with this girl and tell her that I am not the guy that's gonna be serious with her right now. I was gonna tell her that I liked hanging out with her, and we could continue to have fun with each other and see where it goes, but that she shouldn't get her hopes up for anything bigtime.

She beat me to it! But she did it in a chickened out way. She just started to ignore me a little. And don't know that as soon as I start to feel ignored (and I lose control of the situation) is when I want to talk to this girl. So I ask her, "When are we gonna hang out again?"

She sort of wrinles her brow and avoids eye contact for a few seconds and says, "Gee... I'm really bad at this..."

I ask "Bad at what?"

"I think that... it might be better if... we do the just be friends thing."

What the hell?! She was really in to me less than a week before, I mean it seemed like she was really really in to me. So in to me that it was a little off-putting (I like to use this word a lot now that I figured out its not off-pudding). So in to me that I thought it necessary to tell her that I'm not the serious guy she's looking for.

She beat me to it...

So now I ask, "What am I doing?!" because I keep talking to her. I keep flirting with her. Now that she doesn't want me I find that I want her. WTF? Am I seriously that messed up in the head that I only want girls who reject me? REally? I am doomed to horrible relationships becasue the only girls I'm happy with are the ones who don't really like me, and the ones who will go to the ends of the earth for me I could care less about. What happened in my developmental years to make me like this.

I don't know if I can, but I'm gonna blame my dad. Even if this isn't his fault he deserves to be at fault for something. In fact... most things that suck in my life I might blame on my dad. Sure, why not.

What part of the brain is responsible for feelings of rejection? Does it get bigger everytime you get rejected, so that every rejection hurts more than the one before it? I wonder...

So yeah, she says that she really likes me and she still chats with me online and talks to me in person a lot, but really what am I doing? Every time I talk with its just a little reminder that I have been and continue to be rejected.

Oh, and in less than a week she's already bounced to another guy... so even though she says she's looking for something serious, it doesn't really look like she's looking for something serious.

All this is going to bite me in the ass. Because, you see, she reads this blog. So, if you made this far to see these last few lines, "Legs", that this blog is a place for me to vent and bitch about things that chap my ass (it says so in the description), and I never said your name so no one know who you are exept the two of us. I really do still like you, and I really do still want to talk to you and hang out with you... and even smack your ass a little... who am I kidding, A LOT! I'm just complaining about my own silly tendencies and I'm a little jealous of the time your spending with the guy who came after me.

The Four F's

So I'm slowly getting through this Physiological Psychology book. Really I'm only reading it for about 30 mins twice a week, and it's pretty dense stuff (for me at least) so I'm only about 90 pages into it. I really like it, this stuff is so interesting. Did you know that if you unfolded the gray matter of the average brain it would stretch out to about 2.5 feet square? Or that your brain is so gelatinous that, without your skull, it wouldn't be able to support its own weight and would likely squish itself all over the place? Neat, huh?

Well, I'm reading along and I get to a section discussing the hypothalamus, a part of the brain that "organizes behaviors related to survival of the species -- the so-called four F's: fighting, feeding, fleeing, and mating."

Mind you, I'm sitting in the quiet reading room of the library when I get to this... I pause and think to myself, 'that's only 3 F's...' Then I, pretty loudly, let out a single "HA!" when I figured it out... F*CKING! I guess the author was a little concerned about dropping the F-bomb in his textbook, or perhaps his publisher didn't like the idea. But really, if you're gonna say "The four F's" then you need four F's. I've seen this before in other books and they do just fine with the word fornicate. Although, maybe the author is having a little fun leaving it ambiguous, this way his readers get to fill in whatever enthymeme they want to, whether it's f*ck, fornicate, or fondle... although I don't fondling can be considered a necessary to the survival of the species.

No Sunkist for you!

What does this even say? "Aot For Odre" ?!?! I guess it's trying to say 'Not For Order' which might be a literal translation for 'Out of Order'? My spanish speaking readers will have to help me out here. How do you say 'Out of Order' in spanish? Does it literally translate to 'Not for Order'?

This is at the I <3 NY Pizza on Hillsborough, go check it out for yourself. They may not be able to write a coherent message, but damn they can make a good slice o' pie. I had Lasagna Pizza today... a departure from my usuall Itallian Chicken glory.

Passed over

Rejection always hurts a little. Regardless of what form it comes in, how much you really cared about it in the first place, or what you're being rejected from. Think back to when you were applying for college. Most people apply to several schools with a few that they really don't want to go to (they apply because their mom likes the school, or some other trivial reason), but then when you got deferred from one of the schools you could care less about you still felt bad. Why doesn't that school want me? Did I write a bad essay? I thought my interview went well; they seemed to like me while I was visiting. But, for some reason, now they don't want me there.

I suppose the nature of rejection is to ask why. Why wasn't I good enough for this job/program/person? Maybe we think that we can learn what to do differently in the future to avoid a similar shunning. And you always scrutinize the next person they interview or hire and wonder, what's that person got that I don't have?

You know it's not a big deal. There are other jobs out there and you've got a couple other interviews set up, but you still feel sad. You invested time in that application process and they're moving on without you so quickly. The fact that they can move on so quickly means they didn't even read your application. They don't even really know you, but they've already made a decision about your 'fit'. Even if you haven't invested much effort into it, it still hurts to be shot down. I get a little upset when friends don't call me back to hang out, much less tell me they'd rather just be acquaintances (... ok, that's a stretch).

I'm pushing myself to learn more about the brain, and I think I want to figure out why we feel heartache or sadness. Emotions are created in our brains and yet, we feel physical manifestations in our bodies. For some reason the emotion of sadness causes the muscles in our chest and throat to tense and create a dull physical pain to accompany our emotional strife. I wonder... did natural selection choose this, or was it simply a byproduct of other selective processes.

Either way, when someone tells you 'you're great, but we want to keep looking' it's never really much fun. If only you had been able to tell them 'I don't really want to accept this position' before they rejected you, you'd feel much better about it... right?

O h w h e r e... is my haircut?

More and more I have been considering cutting my hair and donating it to locks of love. In order to donate you need to give at least 10 inches, so I'd have to give just about all of my hair. That's not really a problem though since I don't really plan on using scissors to cut it; I have a friend who is really good with a pair of electric trimmers. BUZZ!

I will succumb to the typical style of the day; short, slightly messy and gelled. That style looks good on a lot of people, but I'm nervous for how it will look on me. Maybe there's a reason I've only had short hair a few times in my life (probably because I'm too cheap to get haircuts). I've got an oddly shaped head. Although I wonder if it just feels odder than it actually looks. Then there's the fact that I wear glasses. I still don't think glasses look as good with short hair, or at least they stand out a lot more on your face if your hair is short, so you need good lookin glasses. Since I can't afford new glasses, that's another risk.

But man would it make my life easier. No need to dry my hair, no need to really do anything to my hair. Getting ready for comps would be much faster, no more hair shedding everywhere and clogging up my Roomba, no more strangers thinking I'm a chick, no more messing around with my hair when I'm trying to mess around with a girl.

There will definitely be an adjustment. I'll look like every other guy out there... so I don't know how I like that, although people do tend to conform for a reason. I wonder if it will make me look older or younger... I hope neither, I'm happy with how old I look.

No worries, I won't do anything drastic soon. I plan on putting my hair up into a full Mo-Hawk before I cut it off. Perhaps I'll throw a mo-hawk/shaving party soon. I will need many pictures to document the events.